How Do We Respond to Leaders Who Fall?

This week I heard about another Christian leader who has fallen into an inappropriate relationship – one that has devastated his family, destroyed his witness and forever changed the trajectory of his life.  My heart is broken for all involved, including him.

I’ve been fascinated by what I’ve read from other Christian leaders as they write about such moral failures.  There’s been a surprising amount of outrage, anger, and disgust.  I get that – it is totally unacceptable behavior for a leader.  I guess it’s just been the degree of attack on these individuals that is disturbing.  I’ve heard it said that us Christians are the only ones who shoot our wounded.  That’s a pretty sad statement.  But it hasn’t all been that way.  There have been some real expressions of grace towards the leader who fell.  I’m glad to see that grace is still at the heart of the gospel for many.

Here’s my take on it.  First, I’m grieved.  Whenever the enemy wins in his battle to kill, steal and destroy, it makes me angry.  I mourn the many, many losses that are being experienced by every spouse, every child, every parent, every congregant.  The pain ripples outward so far that our eyes can’t even see all the devastation.  So yes, I’m grieved.

But there’s another part of me that is scared.  It makes me look at my life and ask a whole bunch of questions, like:

• Am I a better person than he is?
• Do I love God more than he does?
• Am I less tempted by sin than he is?
• Am I more committed to my ministry than he is?

I don’t know the answers for certain, but my guess is that the answers in general, with the literally hundreds of Christian leaders that have fallen, is ‘no’ for every question I ask.  I am no better than any of them.  I don’t think I love God any more than they do.  I don’t think I’m tempted less by sin and I don’t think that I’m more committed to my ministry than they were to theirs.

I think the greatest danger to Christian leaders today is our illusion of immunity.  When we believe that we personally are immune to such sin, we lower our defenses and become less watchful for the work of the enemy.

The reality is that I have a big red target on me…and so do you.  Every one of us is at risk.  Gender doesn’t really matter anymore, because moral failure is an equal opportunity employer.  And the more leadership success we have, the greater the target.  The enemy wants to kill, steal and destroy.

I believe the best thing we can do is to be vigilant about protecting ourselves, our families and our ministries.  I take a number of important steps:

• I don’t keep secrets from my wife – ever.
• I have several male accountability partners and I meet with them regularly.
• I adhere to our staff’s ‘never alone’ policy – it’s more restrictive than most, but I appreciate the spirit and intent (and so does my wife!).
• I limit my counseling of women.  I will counsel a woman alone, but only once and only with the door open.  Beyond that, I refer her on to someone else.
• I don’t ever tell any woman anything about myself that I haven’t already shared with my wife.

Do you believe that you’re at risk?  What concrete steps are you taking to be vigilant?