Archive for Life Management
Blind Spots
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Have you ever had that experience of driving down the highway and lazily thinking about making a lane change, only to be surprised and alarmed that a car you hadn’t known was there was already occupying that lane? Blind spots can be so dangerous because we can’t easily and immediately see what’s in that space (that’s why they’re called ‘blind’ – I’ve got a gift for recognizing the obvious). It takes extra effort to check if anything is there. I think the most dangerous aspect comes in often assuming that there is nothing residing in our blind spot, and proceeding without actually looking.
What’s true while I’m driving on the highway is also true in the rest of life. We all have blind spots, in our character, attitude and behavior. These are areas that we can’t easily and immediately see ourselves. They take intentional effort to check periodically, to see if anything dangerous resides there.
Yesterday, a brother in Christ and fellow staff member made me aware of something dangerous in my blind spot. He shared that he and a couple of others have experienced me, in my frenetic pace to get things done or get from one place to another, as being disinterested in engaging with them relationally. I was giving an impression that they were not important in my world of priorities. A part of me was shocked, because by nature I’m a highly relational person. But another part of me was not surprised. This was not the first time I had received similar feedback over the years. And I’ve worked hard to slow down and be a human being (rather than just a human doing). I thought that I had conquered the beast, but it crept back into my blind spot. I assumed there was nothing there, and I’ve been proceeding without actually looking. I have been grieved by the impact it has had on those around me. That certainly isn’t how Jesus was, or who He calls me to be. I thank God that I live and work with godly people who are forgiving.
I also praise God that I live and work with people who love me enough to tell me what’s in my blind spot. It takes real love, real courage to share things you know people don’t want to hear.
Do you have godly people in your life who love you enough to tell you when something dangerous is lurking in your blind spot?
A Man Named Joe
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever been profoundly personally touched and inspired by someone you barely even knew? I’m not talking about someone famous, but a very ordinary guy. I went to the memorial yesterday for a man named Joe. I met Joe only twice before he lost his battle earlier this week to cancer. He was a husband, father, friend and fellow worker. But more than that, he was a man who spent his life making treasure.
I listened to person after person – 3 children, 8 brothers and sisters, sister-in-law and small group member – share their stories
about Joe and his incredible impact upon their lives. This was a man who clearly spent his time and energy quietly and gently pouring into the lives of those around him. He created treasure, the kind people store up in their hearts, the kind that doesn’t leave you, but instead grows sweeter and more precious with time. I was moved, stirred in my soul by a man who loved so well that the treasures he created came tumbling out with each loving remembrance. At the end of the service, it was as if his beautiful treasure filled the room, like something out of an Indiana Jones movie. And nobody wanted to leave. That is a life well lived.
Two emotions flooded my heart as I sat there, soaking in the sweetness of his treasure. First, I felt somewhat cheated, robbed of the opportunity to know this man better, to be blessed by the treasure he so loved to create. Second, I felt a profound longing, a deep desire to create treasure. After seeing what was created by a lifetime of loving by this ordinary Joe, I want to live a life that will result in that type of legacy. After seeing treasure like his, I’m challenged to examine the kind of treasure that I’m building in the lives of those I love.
I may have only met him a couple of times, but I was enormously blessed by Joe’s life. Some day, my family and friends will gather to share stories about me. I pray that God will give me strength and courage to create priceless treasure.
Time Out
Posted by: | CommentsLibi is our four year old who we adopted from China last November. I’m amazed at how well she’s picked up our language and culture in such a short time. She loves french fries from McDonalds more than just about anything. She loves to run and play and squeal – noises that no male is capable of producing. She likes to chase and be chased, to be caught by her daddy and tickled mercilessly. She’s a typical four year old, complete with the tantrums and illogical responses. I just don’t remember this level of opposition from our other children, though the next oldest is 17. Since I can’t remember what happened last week, I’m not surprised that I have blocked out such memories.
Yesterday I was hanging with Libi and her younger sister, Gabby. We were having a great time, until we weren’t. I’m not sure 
exactly what triggered it, but all of a sudden I had a little monster on my hands. (I must admit to having the thought at times, “Perhaps this is why some species eat their young.”) She was belligerent, loud and antagonistic. Ok, she was just having a four year old moment. But it was clear that I needed to nip that in the bud before it became the pattern for the day. So, I sent her to her little time out mat in the living room. As I followed her into the room to set the timer, she went to sit 10 feet away from the mat. Of course, I told her to move. She gave me all the angst and attitude that her cute little face could muster, but she moved. I set the timer for four minutes (I can’t remember, was that one minute or one hour for each year of life?). As the minutes ticked away, I found myself thinking that life would be so much better if she wasn’t such a control freak. If she could just trust that her Mom and I have her best interests in mind and relax under our leadership, life would be so much easier for her and us.
This morning I got to thinking a lot about that time out, and especially my thoughts about her need for control and her difficulty in trusting us. It made me sad thinking that maybe she’ll never really trust us. Maybe her background in an orphanage predestined her to such an attitude towards her new parents, who just want to love her with all that we have. But then a very clear question came to mind. Am I really any different? God loves me with all that He has. Life would be so much easier if I could just trust that He has my best interests in mind and relaxed under His leadership. Perhaps it’s me that is the control freak. Maybe God feels the same sadness as I struggle and fight His attempts to bring me His best for my life. I wonder if it makes Him sad.
It’s pretty unsettling to find that there’s still a lot of four year old in me. I guess I’m the one who needs a time out after all.
Sorry, Daddy.
